Stupid Criminals

Thought it would be fun to have a thread dedicated to those stories we find about stupid criminals.

Here's one to get the ball rolling:


A burglar tried to pretend to be a showroom dummy when he was caught in the act robbing a clothing store. Sharp-witted police noticed that the 48-year-old man was not in fact a real female mannequin.

There are some tricks that work fabulously in the movies, but less well in real life, as a German burglar discovered to his cost when he attempted to pose as a showroom dummy to escape detection. The stratagem, which has saved dozens of heroes in popular culture, did not succeed, and the wannabe mannequin was arrested.

The burglar had broken into a clothing store in the town of Menden in the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia during the early hours of Wednesday morning, police reported Thursday.

A passer-by noticed a tell-tale open window and informed the police, who came and searched the store but were unable to find the thief at first.

However a closer inspection of one of the showroom windows revealed that one of the female dummies was not actually made of plastic but was in fact a live man dressed in women's clothing. Instead of fleeing from the store, the 48-year-old burglar had tried to fool the cops by slipping into a suitable outfit and standing motionless in the window next to several genuine mannequins. The hapless thief gave himself up without a fight, police said.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/423689/stupid_criminals/



video of a complete idiot...

I read one about a local criminal caught in the exhaust fan of a fast food restaurant. He was found dangling feet first, over the pizza oven!
I work in a pizza joint, I know how filthy those vents can be!

Rules for Bank Robbers: According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business.

For instance it is reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, this advice is offered to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed:

1. Pick the right bank. Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money. On the other hand, you don't want to be too familiar with the bank. A California robber ran into his mother while making his getaway. She turned him in.

2. Don't sign your demand note. Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh, on an envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit, and in East Hartford, Conn., on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number.

3. Avoid being fussy. A robber in Panorama City, Cal., gave a teller a note saying, "I have a gun. Give me all your twenties in this envelope." The teller said, "All I've got is two twenties." The robber took them and left.

4. Don't advertise. A holdup man thought that if he smeared mercury ointment on his face, it would make him invisible to the cameras. Actually, it accentuated his features, giving authorities a much clearer picture. Bank robbers in Minnesota and California tried to create a diversion by throwing stolen money out of the windows of their cars. They succeeded only in drawing attention to themselves.

5. Take right turns only. Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn and ended up on the Homestead Air Force Base. They drove up to a military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a tollbooth, offered the security men money.

6. Provide your own transportation. It is not clever to borrow the teller's car, which she carefully described to police. This resulted in the most quickly-solved bank robbery in the history of Pittsfield, Mass.

7. Consider another line of work. There was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Mass., who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived.